βš—οΈPhilosopher Roast← Back to roasting

Pricing

Philosophical humiliation, without limits.

Start free. When you're ready for the full arsenal of history's sharpest minds, go Pro.

Free

$0/month

A taste of philosophical suffering.

  • β€”3 roasts per day
  • β€”8 core philosophers
  • β€”Copy-to-share card
Start free

Pro

Best value
$7/month

Unlimited access to every philosopher's sharpest takes.

  • βœ“Unlimited roasts
  • βœ“All philosophers (20+)
  • βœ“Thread roasts
  • βœ“Custom roast intensity
  • βœ“Premium shareable cards
  • βœ“Priority generation
Go Pro β€” $7/mo

Frequently asked

What's a thread roast?

Paste multiple tweets and get a single, sustained philosophical takedown across the whole thread.

What's custom roast intensity?

Choose how brutal the philosophers get β€” from gentle Socratic questioning to full Nietzschean nihilism.

Can I cancel anytime?

Yes. Cancel from your Stripe billing portal. No questions asked, no dark patterns.

What payment methods are accepted?

All major credit/debit cards via Stripe's secure checkout.

β€œThe unexamined tweet is not worth posting.” β€” Socrates, probably

Go Pro β€” $7/month

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